The music plays, his vision fades. A world of darkness envelops his senses. An explosion in the music gives birth to a universe in his mind. Hi finds himself stood in the darkness, surrounded by stars. A presence draws near, a woman of light. A glow of hope, dreams and ambition radiated from skin. She reaches out both hands and grasp his hands. A wave of emotion fills his being, he arches backwards looking into the sky. A beam of light, brighter than the sun explodes from his body and engulfs the world in light. Soon it fades and they stand alone, together in the stars. He brings his arm around her, lifting her other into a posture both strong and powerful. They dance to the music, turning and spinning amongst the stars. Another explosion in the musics sends him forward towards her, bringing them into a deep embrace. As they turn amongst the stars, all words fade from them. Their clothes falls from their body like autumn leaves in the wind. They are left embracing each others naked bodies. As they forces their bodies together, they being to spin faster and faster. The force is enough to rip them apart, but their love forges a bond stronger than life itself. He clambers effortlessly to her body, as if the forces no longer exists. They spin so fast the they are blur to the observing universe. The music explodes in awe and so do they. Light radiates from both as two form into one. Not longer a person, they have become one. They are become light, the saviors of worlds. A powerful glow is all that remains. As the music grows louder, so too the merged orb of light and life expands. Growing ever larger until the universe is filled with light. They expand beyond the edges of time itself. The light grows and covers the outer edge of the universe turning the unknown into the loved. The light embraces and world and hugs it with tenderous care. The music grows louder while the light intensifies. The light of the two begins to pulsate in chorus with the music, resonating the once beating hearts of the people who’s love grew so large, it covered the world. As the music draws quiet, the universe collapses. And implosion of light explodes into life. He finds himself again embrace in her.
Relationships often come with their challenges. For me, this most recent challenge of love is distance. The woman I love is currently absent in my reality. This idea of people entering and exiting in our lives is an everyday change that we all expect. Strangers pass us by without any thought that we might never see them again. I like to refer to these people as fillers. They exist in your everyday perception of reality, yet we often never communicate with these fillers. We do not miss them when they are gone and we never consider that they may be gone forever.
Fillers pop in and out of your perception of reality. I view our perception of reality at five “bubbles” that exist around us at all time. Each bubble is responsible for the space in reality in which you can perceive something with one of your senses. There is a visual bubble, this acts very much as a cone that projects from the pupils and out to the limit of vision. In this case, the outer edges of this cone represent the peripheral vision. Another such bubble exists around you, this bubble represents your hearing. This bubble has the ability to pass though solid objects. We often here sounds and noises from around corners or through walls. The bubble which represents touch exists as a thing bubble covering every each of your skin. Our perception of smell is often manipulated by wind, this bubble often exists a few meters around you. Finally there is the tiny bubble of taste perception. This bubble exists inside the mouth.
There any many people that argue the quantity of senses in the body, however for the sake of this article we will focus on the five widely accepted human sense.
These bubbles of perception exist and receive information about the universe consistently while we experience reality. They are the information receivers of reality, they are responsible for sending relevant information form the sense to the brain to be decoded and perceived. This process is continuous throughout your life. This is where your perception of reality comes from, from how your brain decodes the information. Try to imagine these different bubbles of perception, really visualize this bubble around you. The more you attempt to perceive these bubbles, the more your mind will accept their existence.
I have become highly aware of my bubble of perception and how the information of my senses is being decoded. This has allowed me to gain a better understanding of how relationships work, more specifically long distance relationships. As I go through the everyday routine of day to day life, I feel as if something is missing. This sense of something being missing is also being replicated by the person whom I love. I have of course felt the sensation of missing someone, yet it is only recently that i have understood what such a thing means.
My brain is telling me that something is missing in my perception of reality. There is something that my mind says should be there, yet it is not present. This creates the emotion of “missing” someone. As a sentence, “Something is missing” has a very different meaning from “I miss you”. This has happened to many sentences and words throughout time. Something becomes a saying, when actually it is a sentence. A repetitive action numbs the awareness level of the action. It is easy to see how quickly the repetitive actions of saying “Something is missing” becomes “I miss you” which at its core is a grammatically incorrect sentence. It sounds almost cavemanish, as if the words were “Tarzan miss Jane”. I am not here to argue grammar or the evolution of language, but i am going to point out how our changing of sentences for convenience (It takes less time to express). I am well aware that when I tell the woman i love, “I miss you” i am actually acknowledging that “She is missing in my reality in this moment”.
Before i move on i want to quickly demonstrate that something can never be missing, everything in your perception of reality, is what it is. Nothing should be any different than it is, action and reaction, cause and effect is always the reason for things being what they are. The fact that something is missing, is a perceptual thought. Life is always what it is and it is always doing what it should be doing. This does not mean we have no ability to make changes to the reality.
This emotion of feeling as if something is missing from your reality is a personal emotion. Only you have decided that this “thing” is missing from your reality. But why, why would our brain project a false need into our reality? I call it as false need because having this “thing” in your reality does directly increase your survivorbility. It may indirectly aid your survivorbility by increasing happiness, reducing stress and increasing the overall enjoyment of the experience of life, it does however not give any direct survivorbility benefits such as, food, water or oxygen.
If we do not need the thing we are missing, then why do we let it affect us as much as we do? So far i see this question as irrelevant. The reality is that whether we like it our not, our mind often confuses our wants for our needs. The woman i love in the physical sense has absolutely no survivorbility benefits. If anything she is going to reduce my survivorbility, i need more food, more money, more water, more everything. Yet i still find myself doing everything i can to manifest her back into my reality.
I believe the perception bubble is the reason for this chaos of emotion. The meaning of life is to experience happiness and joy. Ask any person why they do anything enough times and they will eventually say “Because it makes me happy”. Every action we take is based on our own want for more happiness and joy in our reality. New perceptions of reality or new experiences often create either fear or happiness. Some experiences we dislike and fear while others we love and indulge.
Salesman, sales calls, sales techniques. The words hold dread to so many people. “Who was that on the phone?” “Urgh… Just another Salesperson.” We have over sold every element of our existence. There is no physical thing that money cannot buy a variation of. The need to sell, gain profit, hit targets and improve stats creates an environment of stress and doubt in our own ability.
What if I could solve that problem, what if I could put the fun back into selling, what if I could change the way you sell in a way that not only gains the interest of the customer, but will also make your view of the task simpler.
The problem with sales is the frequency of which we become victims to a sale. We attempt to sell and buy “stuff” that has no real cause or positive effect in our life. Instead I invoke an age of problem solvers.
Before we look at sales, we must first take a look at the rules of the game, the foundation on which we play.
The System of Capitalism
Money is the resource we use to provide our survivability. The current monetary system we work by is Capitalism. Most people are unaware that Capitalism is more than just a system of wealth, this is its non-essential definition.
Capitalism – Non-essential Definition:
“An economic system in which the means of production and distribution are privately or corporately owned and development is proportionate to the accumulation and reinvestment of profits gained in a free market.”
Capitalism is also the philosophy of a social system based on the principle of individual rights. This refers more to a political social structure rather than a monetary system. In order for the monetary system of capitalism to function, there must first be a core social structure of capitalism. One cannot exist if the other is not present.
Philosophy is Belief
Philosophy is the belief system that governs your actions. Beliefs can be stubborn but they can also be manipulated and shifted. The philosophy of capitalism is a belief that creates a need for consistent growth. Statistics become either friend or foe in the battle of growth. Percentages, numbers and profit means more to a business than people do.
From a philosophic standpoint we can already see how this can quickly spiral out of control, becoming a system based on statistics rather than the people involved. Competition for control of imaginary markets made up of numbers on a 2D screen, becomes more relevant than the interaction between individuals that propels the social and economic structure forward. Focus on beating the competition becomes more important than supplying more effective services to the customer.
Numbers only exist for a moment, however relationships create connections. People are action takers, no action can be taking if there is not a person behind the action. Control is an illusion of belief, we control nothing. The best we can hope for is swaying the odds in our favor.
Swaying the Odds
Control is the belief that you determine an outcome. Taking control of a situation is to sway the outcome towards your needs/wants. In the monetary system of capitalism, we assume control by manipulating our customers belief.
Control – Definition:
“The power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.”
Anything based on philosophy can be manipulated. As I mentioned, philosophy is nothing more than a belief system and belief systems are constantly changing based on the most recent experiences we have had of reality.
Before we can begin to shift the belief system of the customer, we must first understand what our goals are. Our goals can vary in many ways, and this must be set before the interaction begins. If you begin without knowing what you want then how can you know what you need to do?
The aim is to create need/want in the customer. Often a salesman will sell the product to the customer. In truth it is not the product the customer wants, it is the solution to their problem they want to purchase. But what if there is no current problem in the eyes of the customer? In reality there is always an issue that needs fixing, something that must either become more efficient or more comfortable.
There is Always Something to Fix
The human condition provides us with a consistent need to improve our existence. Be happier, be healthier, be slimmer, and be prettier. Capitalism creates the same need for growth. A business will or at least should always strive to improve efficiency, limit work time per project and expand market reach.
The job of a salesman is not to sell, it is to problem solve the issues that have not yet been considered. A salesman is a problem solver and should hold such talents. The ability to spot the areas where growth can be manifested is a must have.
Creating the need/want is demonstrating an issue. To sell the solution you must prove the value the solution can provide. Creating value is done by shifting the belief system from “I do not need this.” To, “I must have this.” The need comes from the belief that the product will improve their experience of life, it will be less chaotic, more automated and more convenient to the customer. The belief must be, “my life would be better if I had this in my life.”
Close Before You Sell
As people we are naturally skeptical of salesman. They attempt to manipulate us with their charm, words and sneakiness. It is not surprising that we hold such defensive postures when we interact with men of trade. We are aware that we are a target, we know that the aim is for them to make money from us, and we know how much value we place in money. Once we view this perspective of the salesman we can see why people become, shall we say, sceptical.
The point here, is that people dislike salesmen. So stop selling. Like I said, salesmen are no longer selling, they are service providers. As soon as the words “I have a great product for you” leaves your mouth, so does the customer. People are tired of manipulated reasoning and having products shoved down their faces. So I will say it again, stop selling and start providing.
The aim is to close the sale before you have even mentioned the product. First find the issue, the reason they have for needing or wanting a product or service. Do not mention the product, keep that in your mind. Remember, you should have an idea of what you are trying to achieve before you even approach the customer. Once you have identified the issue, demonstrate a method of removing the issue. The aim here is to prove value to the solution you can provide, honest value. Use simple terminology, the person you are speaking with may not have the technological knowledge required to understand how the product works. You can however, very simply explain what it does. Finally, get them to say “Yes” to the solution, then demonstrate the product. Explain the solution and an overview how it fixes the issue.
Reversing the What, How, Why?
The most common way to sell is by going through the What, How and Why. This is a sequence most salesmen follow in order to sell their product. Most sales pitches follow this because it is simple and it is lazy. This is how a lazy salesman works.
What: This demonstrates what the product is and does.
How: The how explains how the product does what it does.
Why: The reason the product does what it does.
Once we reverse the sequence we change our aim, it will turn the pitch from one of telling the customer what they need, to one where you stimulate their needs in order to remove the issue. This is how an innovative sales pitch work.
Why: This stage is about finding the need.
How: This will tell you how they would like the problem fixed.
What: This is the product they need.
A sales pitch will often look like the following:
What: This is the brand new “Insert make and model of car”, It has “readout a mental list life of all the features from GPS to traction control”
How: Using its brand new “Insert obscure technology” it reduces the fuel consumption by “Insert interesting stat no one understands”
Why: All of this combines to give you a “Insert random appealing adjective” looking car that is gentle on the wallet
This time reverse the questions, find the need/want, stimulate it:
Why: What are you looking for in a car, what would you like from your new car that your current one cannot provide?
How: (Invite the issue with open arms and demonstrate how it could be fixed) It sounds like you need something more economical in the long run. Something that reduces your overall fuel consumption.
What: (As soon as your customer agrees with your attempt to fix the issue, you should produce the solution. At this point it is also important to confirm the information the customer has provided.) It sounds like you want something that provides “solution”. This car should be perfect for you.
Because the customer has already agreed with the solution and explained their need for it all you are required to do is to show them the product that has the solution they require.
The Philosophy of Wants and Needs
Modern society has manifested an environment where we confuse our wants to be our needs. In truth there are very few things we need. Oxygen, food, water, stable temperature and some sunlight. Of course there are a smattering of other requirements like iron, vitamins and so on, yet at the core all your requirements come from ingesting food, water and oxygen. The rest I am sorry to say is just a want, no matter how much you attempt to convince yourself that you need something, it is only ever a belief.
Consider yourself, existing in this world of capitalism. A world in which freedom is related to quantity of wealth, while your quantity of wealth is a representation of your work ethics. Work hard, get more money, become free. We propel ourselves forward though our “want” to be free, however in the sense of pure survival you do not “need” to be free.
When a person begins to understand that what they want has nothing to do with what they need, they become aware of the freeing sensation that comes with letting go of your wants and only fulfilling your needs.
In a world of industries and corporations the needs change. These organizations are as the word suggest, organized. A business is a machine, it runs in a systematic form. A product line has a beginning where there is no product, follow the system though in order and you will finish the journey with a product. Capitalism creates systematic competition, a game of efficiency and innovation.
As a sales man, your job is to solve the issue, solve the want of the customer. Understand that your customer is a person, with emotions, belief systems, needs and wants. If they are working for a bigger organization and you are selling to an organization through that person, you must remember to stimulate the needs of the person as well as fulfilling the need of the business.
Stop, Look, Listen
Information is your ally, it is however a fickle friend. Information can quickly become overwhelming and chaotic. Before you can sell anything, you must first organize your information. When I refer to information I speak of any single bit of information that you need to progress through the sale.
That is just a minute fraction of the information that needs to be considered when selling. The more you learn the more familiar you will become with the information your senses are picking up. Your mind will become more organized and quicker to respond with relevant information.
The better you become at organizing the relevant information of the sale, the more efficient you will become at providing constructive information in order close the sale.
To Know Is To Assume
One of the struggles of the human condition is the frustration of not knowing anything. There is only one truth in life, which is that you are experiencing “something”. Outside of that truth, you know absolutely nothing about what this world is. Everything we do is based on our beliefs, our beliefs give us purpose.
These beliefs are individual to everything that is conscious. This is a very important piece of information to consider when selling. A salesman who believes he knows what I want will fail, because the want that he believes I hold is only real in the mind of the salesman. If however the salesman accepts that he does not know me, and instead of telling, begins to question and learn the interest of me, my beliefs and wants will be shifted towards the salesman. This is because him asking about my wants/needs brings them to the forefront of my mind and therefore become my focus. The more I focus on my needs/wants the more I need/want them.
it is no trade secret that you must believe in what you sell. Human integrity is subconsciously stronger than human betrayal. Your empathy will often show if you are being inauthentic with your sales pitch. If your product does not interest you then how can you expect to enthusiastically sell it?
Speak the truth when you sell, the truth is positive, strong and meaningful when it is told. If you begin to oversell your product and embellish how good it is, your vocal and body language will demonstrate doubt, inconsistency and hesitation. I know which salesmen would win me over.
- Understand the belief system you exists in, as a salesman in the western world the system I work by is that of Capitalism.
- Stop selling and start fixing, you are there to provide a solution to what a person believes is a need, when actually it is a want for efficiency and comfort.
- Using the reverse “What, How, Why” method you create a scenario where the customer will say yes to the solution before they have experienced the product. This is due to you stimulating the want/need of the customer before you demonstrate the product.
- Absorb any information you can about the sale, everything from the customer, the environment and the product.
- Instill confidence in the customer that you can fix their issue.
- Understand that you cannot know anything, however the more aware you are of the process of the sale, the higher the success rate will be.
- Believe in yourself, if you cannot trust your own words then how can you expect a person to hand over their money (the resource for survivability).
Sales, just like life is a long game, learn to enjoy the game and everything else will fall into place.
What is love? It consumes almost every living being. I cannot tell or explain to you what love is, I won’t try to. I will tell you my perception of love based on my experience with it. I have fallen in love twice in my life, each time very different from the other. I am also writing this as a person who is currently falling. Just saying the words sends an odd fear of hesitation through me. At ;east you get to see how I work, let us analyse why that fear and hesitation manifested itself. First let us look at the evidence, first of all, the first who has caused me to fall again is in the room as I write this. I at this moment have no idea whether she is reading this or not and if she is, she is giving no indication that she is reading it. Things have certainly become interesting. The second piece of evidence is the fear I have for love, an irrational fear based on the effects that feeling hurt or causing hurt create. As i mentioned, I have fallen in love twice, that means that I have been hurt twice. Both were very different from each other none less painful than the other. However, in my recent experience with this emotion I have realised the simple complications I have made, and that I have watched so many others make. Instead of writing endless articles on relationships and solving individual issues within relationships, I am going to give you my simple conclusion to love and how I have decided to interact with the emotion.
Sharing the Experience of Life
Without delving to far into the biological use of love in order to reproduce, let us look at the positive affect love has on the conciousness. Reality is to experience. However, we ourselves cannot guarantee our experience is “real”, it may be to us as individuals, but real is what can be perceived by any two conciousness at any one time. The physical universe is our shared perception and that is therefore real. How we perceive this individually is unique to each of us.
A relationship increased our acceptance of real. As we build a bond and share experiences, those experiences become joint memories that grow to form a conjoined conciousness, the unit of the relationship. A life partner the person we wish to share the experience of life with, they make our existence matter more than it did when it was only being experienced by one conciousness.
Love the Time You Share
People have gave me the impression that love was loving a person. I have since questioned that for myself and concluded that I disagree. The truth is that we cannot ever “KNOW” anyone. What we grow to love is the experience of them in our reality. We love how they stimulate our sense. The better each sense is stimulated the stronger the bond of love will be. We love having their presence in our box of perception.
If you simply enjoy having a person in your box of perception then work harder to create opportunity for love or move on. If you do not love having them in your presence at all times then how can expect yourself to send your eternity with them.
A Choice of Honesty
Finding someone who is perfect is unlikely, prepare yourself to compromise. However before the game of compromise begins, be brutally honest about what you want. If you don’t know what you want, start dating and start experiencing romantic situation so you can find out what you like. Be honest with yourself about what you want, do not shy away from what you like. Be honest with yourself when you don’t love spending time with someone. It is okay to hurt people along the way, there are important lessons to learn from both being hurt and hurting someone. Take responsibility for the people you hurt and do what you can to manage you collateral damage.
Finding the person you love spending time with is a long and treacherous journey. But it is worth it for the moment of pure euphoria in the arms of a person who. at least for that moment, just gets you. The moments are rare, which only emphasises how important it is to love spending time with the person you wish to share your life with.
Life is an endless trail of issues. As humans we are natural problem solvers. We create issues out of thin air in order to have something to do. In honesty it is not our fault, the defence mechanism of the Homo sapiens is our intelligence. Our intelligence makes our natural day to day comfort better. Intelligence gives us the ability to make things easier. However this is only because we see everything as something that can be better, or that it simply isn’t good enough. This is how we create our issues in life. Things are only ever an issue because we believe they are an issue.
In relationship this causes problem. Our need to consistently learn and evolve must be stimulated while in relationship. Often relationships stagnate into mindless routine. Our mind crave new experiences to learn and evolve from and stagnant relationships lack such opportunities. Creating fun is key to evolving the overall consciousness of the relationship. Communication is paramount, without communication there can be no transfer of information about the experiences and therefore we cannot grow the overall conciousness of the relationship unit.
New experiences increase overall happiness and this intern helps to grow positive experiences to learn from. If we are not happy then how can we love the time we spend with each other.
Become the Learning Teacher
Life brings with it consistent change, ever moment changes. This can be as simple as you growing more and more tired every waking moment. This everlasting change can become a hostile environment if we do not keep evolving with it. Communication again becomes key, we must constantly teach our partners how our perceptions of reality are changing based on our experiences. As we do this we must also remain vigilant to the lessons our partners give us about how their perceptions of reality are changing. This must be continuous, if at any point one person becomes lazy or selfish the change expand beyond the capability of the relationship unit.
Life can be challenging and daunting, all in all it can be a hard place to exist. Relationships are comfortable, they create mindless routine that quickly draw you into a mind numbing existence where twenty minutes becomes twenty years. Life will get to the best of us at times and when it does it can be hard to pick yourself back up. This is where a spiritual guide is needed, someone who can help guide you through the chaos of life. In a relationship both parties must become a guide for the other but never become a crutch. Life is in itself a solo experience and must remain so. However, the person we chose to share our experience is able to guide the other through the mayhem of the solo experience. Everyone needs a little help from time to time.
The Expiration Date
The hardest truth of love it’s expiration date. Love ends, if you are lucky, it will be when you are old in the same moment your life ends. However more times than not in life, it will end in tears, every, single, time. The human condition with it’s intelligence will of course worry and try to fix such “issues”. I however do not, love ends, so what. Just like life, I do not fear it’s end, it do not wish for it to happen any time soon of course. Worrying about such thing, in my eyes, is pointless. I do not wish to waste my energy worrying about the inevitable when i can enjoy that love is very much present in my reality.
As with everything else I write, this is how I see reality and I only write to share my opinion, this is my conclusion on what love is and how I will attempt to deal with the emotion in the near future, maybe forever if I have truly nailed it, which of course is doubtful. Wish me luck, only time will show.
“Deontological ethics or deontology is the normative ethical position that judges the morality of an action based on the action’s adherence to a rule or rules. It is sometimes described as “duty” or “obligation” or “rule”-based ethics, because rules “bind you to your duty.”
Kantianism. Immanuel Kant was the founder of this philosophy. I have spoken before about the conjecture of both Immanuel Kant (Kantian) and John Stuart Mill (Utilitarian). These philosophies were written in the late 15th century and early 16th century. There is a lack of perceptionistic acceptance on behalf of both Kant and Mill. Both give indication to the perception of each individual, yet they speak of a correlation in the perception of good and bad.
Both Kant and Mill have manifested intricate belief systems based on their individual perception of good and bad. The biggest difference is the Deontological view of lying versus the Utilitarian view. Deontology speaks of an individuals duty to take good actions, however, this action must be taken on the basis of the following:
- Do the right thing.
- Do it because it’s the right thing to do.
- Don’t do wrong things.
- Avoid them because they are wrong.
- It is wrong to kill innocent people
- It is wrong to steal
- It is wrong to tell lies
- It is right to keep promises
Looking at the above “rules of duty”, consider this example:
“…the philosopher Kant thought that it would be wrong to tell a lie in order to save a friend from a murderer.”
With the rules we have applied we can derive that telling a lie is wrong, while killing a non-innocent/guilty man is acceptable in the eyes of Kant. This creates a dilemma, consider now that this situation is a reality you must deal with. The Deontological rules of duty state, you may no lie and you may no kill an innocent man. When is the innocence broken? Is it when the murderer has killed? Or can he be considered guilty before the act has been committed?