Relationships often come with their challenges. For me, this most recent challenge of love is distance. The woman I love is currently absent in my reality. This idea of people entering and exiting in our lives is an everyday change that we all expect. Strangers pass us by without any thought that we might never see them again. I like to refer to these people as fillers. They exist in your everyday perception of reality, yet we often never communicate with these fillers. We do not miss them when they are gone and we never consider that they may be gone forever.
Fillers pop in and out of your perception of reality. I view our perception of reality at five “bubbles” that exist around us at all time. Each bubble is responsible for the space in reality in which you can perceive something with one of your senses. There is a visual bubble, this acts very much as a cone that projects from the pupils and out to the limit of vision. In this case, the outer edges of this cone represent the peripheral vision. Another such bubble exists around you, this bubble represents your hearing. This bubble has the ability to pass though solid objects. We often here sounds and noises from around corners or through walls. The bubble which represents touch exists as a thing bubble covering every each of your skin. Our perception of smell is often manipulated by wind, this bubble often exists a few meters around you. Finally there is the tiny bubble of taste perception. This bubble exists inside the mouth.
There any many people that argue the quantity of senses in the body, however for the sake of this article we will focus on the five widely accepted human sense.
These bubbles of perception exist and receive information about the universe consistently while we experience reality. They are the information receivers of reality, they are responsible for sending relevant information form the sense to the brain to be decoded and perceived. This process is continuous throughout your life. This is where your perception of reality comes from, from how your brain decodes the information. Try to imagine these different bubbles of perception, really visualize this bubble around you. The more you attempt to perceive these bubbles, the more your mind will accept their existence.
I have become highly aware of my bubble of perception and how the information of my senses is being decoded. This has allowed me to gain a better understanding of how relationships work, more specifically long distance relationships. As I go through the everyday routine of day to day life, I feel as if something is missing. This sense of something being missing is also being replicated by the person whom I love. I have of course felt the sensation of missing someone, yet it is only recently that i have understood what such a thing means.
My brain is telling me that something is missing in my perception of reality. There is something that my mind says should be there, yet it is not present. This creates the emotion of “missing” someone. As a sentence, “Something is missing” has a very different meaning from “I miss you”. This has happened to many sentences and words throughout time. Something becomes a saying, when actually it is a sentence. A repetitive action numbs the awareness level of the action. It is easy to see how quickly the repetitive actions of saying “Something is missing” becomes “I miss you” which at its core is a grammatically incorrect sentence. It sounds almost cavemanish, as if the words were “Tarzan miss Jane”. I am not here to argue grammar or the evolution of language, but i am going to point out how our changing of sentences for convenience (It takes less time to express). I am well aware that when I tell the woman i love, “I miss you” i am actually acknowledging that “She is missing in my reality in this moment”.
Before i move on i want to quickly demonstrate that something can never be missing, everything in your perception of reality, is what it is. Nothing should be any different than it is, action and reaction, cause and effect is always the reason for things being what they are. The fact that something is missing, is a perceptual thought. Life is always what it is and it is always doing what it should be doing. This does not mean we have no ability to make changes to the reality.
This emotion of feeling as if something is missing from your reality is a personal emotion. Only you have decided that this “thing” is missing from your reality. But why, why would our brain project a false need into our reality? I call it as false need because having this “thing” in your reality does directly increase your survivorbility. It may indirectly aid your survivorbility by increasing happiness, reducing stress and increasing the overall enjoyment of the experience of life, it does however not give any direct survivorbility benefits such as, food, water or oxygen.
If we do not need the thing we are missing, then why do we let it affect us as much as we do? So far i see this question as irrelevant. The reality is that whether we like it our not, our mind often confuses our wants for our needs. The woman i love in the physical sense has absolutely no survivorbility benefits. If anything she is going to reduce my survivorbility, i need more food, more money, more water, more everything. Yet i still find myself doing everything i can to manifest her back into my reality.
I believe the perception bubble is the reason for this chaos of emotion. The meaning of life is to experience happiness and joy. Ask any person why they do anything enough times and they will eventually say “Because it makes me happy”. Every action we take is based on our own want for more happiness and joy in our reality. New perceptions of reality or new experiences often create either fear or happiness. Some experiences we dislike and fear while others we love and indulge.