What is love? It consumes almost every living being. I cannot tell or explain to you what love is, I won’t try to. I will tell you my perception of love based on my experience with it. I have fallen in love twice in my life, each time very different from the other. I am also writing this as a person who is currently falling. Just saying the words sends an odd fear of hesitation through me. At ;east you get to see how I work, let us analyse why that fear and hesitation manifested itself. First let us look at the evidence, first of all, the first who has caused me to fall again is in the room as I write this. I at this moment have no idea whether she is reading this or not and if she is, she is giving no indication that she is reading it. Things have certainly become interesting. The second piece of evidence is the fear I have for love, an irrational fear based on the effects that feeling hurt or causing hurt create. As i mentioned, I have fallen in love twice, that means that I have been hurt twice. Both were very different from each other none less painful than the other. However, in my recent experience with this emotion I have realised the simple complications I have made, and that I have watched so many others make. Instead of writing endless articles on relationships and solving individual issues within relationships, I am going to give you my simple conclusion to love and how I have decided to interact with the emotion.
Sharing the Experience of Life
Without delving to far into the biological use of love in order to reproduce, let us look at the positive affect love has on the conciousness. Reality is to experience. However, we ourselves cannot guarantee our experience is “real”, it may be to us as individuals, but real is what can be perceived by any two conciousness at any one time. The physical universe is our shared perception and that is therefore real. How we perceive this individually is unique to each of us.
A relationship increased our acceptance of real. As we build a bond and share experiences, those experiences become joint memories that grow to form a conjoined conciousness, the unit of the relationship. A life partner the person we wish to share the experience of life with, they make our existence matter more than it did when it was only being experienced by one conciousness.
Love the Time You Share
People have gave me the impression that love was loving a person. I have since questioned that for myself and concluded that I disagree. The truth is that we cannot ever “KNOW” anyone. What we grow to love is the experience of them in our reality. We love how they stimulate our sense. The better each sense is stimulated the stronger the bond of love will be. We love having their presence in our box of perception.
If you simply enjoy having a person in your box of perception then work harder to create opportunity for love or move on. If you do not love having them in your presence at all times then how can expect yourself to send your eternity with them.
A Choice of Honesty
Finding someone who is perfect is unlikely, prepare yourself to compromise. However before the game of compromise begins, be brutally honest about what you want. If you don’t know what you want, start dating and start experiencing romantic situation so you can find out what you like. Be honest with yourself about what you want, do not shy away from what you like. Be honest with yourself when you don’t love spending time with someone. It is okay to hurt people along the way, there are important lessons to learn from both being hurt and hurting someone. Take responsibility for the people you hurt and do what you can to manage you collateral damage.
Finding the person you love spending time with is a long and treacherous journey. But it is worth it for the moment of pure euphoria in the arms of a person who. at least for that moment, just gets you. The moments are rare, which only emphasises how important it is to love spending time with the person you wish to share your life with.
Life is an endless trail of issues. As humans we are natural problem solvers. We create issues out of thin air in order to have something to do. In honesty it is not our fault, the defence mechanism of the Homo sapiens is our intelligence. Our intelligence makes our natural day to day comfort better. Intelligence gives us the ability to make things easier. However this is only because we see everything as something that can be better, or that it simply isn’t good enough. This is how we create our issues in life. Things are only ever an issue because we believe they are an issue.
In relationship this causes problem. Our need to consistently learn and evolve must be stimulated while in relationship. Often relationships stagnate into mindless routine. Our mind crave new experiences to learn and evolve from and stagnant relationships lack such opportunities. Creating fun is key to evolving the overall consciousness of the relationship. Communication is paramount, without communication there can be no transfer of information about the experiences and therefore we cannot grow the overall conciousness of the relationship unit.
New experiences increase overall happiness and this intern helps to grow positive experiences to learn from. If we are not happy then how can we love the time we spend with each other.
Become the Learning Teacher
Life brings with it consistent change, ever moment changes. This can be as simple as you growing more and more tired every waking moment. This everlasting change can become a hostile environment if we do not keep evolving with it. Communication again becomes key, we must constantly teach our partners how our perceptions of reality are changing based on our experiences. As we do this we must also remain vigilant to the lessons our partners give us about how their perceptions of reality are changing. This must be continuous, if at any point one person becomes lazy or selfish the change expand beyond the capability of the relationship unit.
Life can be challenging and daunting, all in all it can be a hard place to exist. Relationships are comfortable, they create mindless routine that quickly draw you into a mind numbing existence where twenty minutes becomes twenty years. Life will get to the best of us at times and when it does it can be hard to pick yourself back up. This is where a spiritual guide is needed, someone who can help guide you through the chaos of life. In a relationship both parties must become a guide for the other but never become a crutch. Life is in itself a solo experience and must remain so. However, the person we chose to share our experience is able to guide the other through the mayhem of the solo experience. Everyone needs a little help from time to time.
The Expiration Date
The hardest truth of love it’s expiration date. Love ends, if you are lucky, it will be when you are old in the same moment your life ends. However more times than not in life, it will end in tears, every, single, time. The human condition with it’s intelligence will of course worry and try to fix such “issues”. I however do not, love ends, so what. Just like life, I do not fear it’s end, it do not wish for it to happen any time soon of course. Worrying about such thing, in my eyes, is pointless. I do not wish to waste my energy worrying about the inevitable when i can enjoy that love is very much present in my reality.
As with everything else I write, this is how I see reality and I only write to share my opinion, this is my conclusion on what love is and how I will attempt to deal with the emotion in the near future, maybe forever if I have truly nailed it, which of course is doubtful. Wish me luck, only time will show.