Question my notion of fear was not something I thought I would be doing. For many years now I simply accepted that fear is protecting me from danger. I think most people will agree with that definition of fear. It was my questioning of what fear is that really sent me down the rabbit hole. I want to take you through the journey I took at its principles. My first challenge was to question fear itself. Where was it coming from, what was it and what was the benefit of it. Will Smith’s character in After Earth hits the nail on the head, “Fear is a figment of your imagination”. I realised that fear was not real. Danger in the reality of now was very real but the fear of it was never real. Fear prevents the action you are going to take in the future. For example, the real reason I look before I cross the road is because I feel fear for the idea that a car might hit me. However that is only one possible ending of many, if I crossed the road without checking for cars first. The likelihood of a car being in exactly the same spot that I will be in without finding the impulse to break is unlikely. So is the fear required? The fear is only present if you do not acknowledge the reality. The cars are both there and not there until I look to confirm. However, if I cross the road after I have acknowledge the reality then I will not feel fear because I have registered there are no cars to fear. My conclusion to this is that fear is only real if I do not acknowledge danger, once I acknowledge that danger exists then I need to accept that fear exists. I decide how I wish to interact with that fear.
Fear is always a future concept. I have realised that fear is never based on what is happening its based on one out of an almost infinite outcomes that could happen. The fear I feel for losing the one I love is not a part of reality. Everybody dies and I can choose to place my focus to how I will deal with it when they do. But the reality is that the person is still alive as I am thinking it. The future of death is there whether I like it or not, it will be my reality one day. I use the notion of death because if I climb the ladder of fear I will end up at death. Death is fear. I ask myself “why am I afraid?”, it does not matter what I fear. If I keep asking “but why do I fear that” and when the next answer comes I ask myself the same question. Eventually I find myself saying. “I am afraid because I could die”. But right now that danger is not present. In the moment that I fear it, it is not happening. It is just a figment of my imagination, an imagination of what the future holds. When I realise that the fear I feel is not happening right now, I step away from my fear and return to the now. because what I am scared of is just my own idea of the future. So I enjoy the fact that the danger isn’t present. I will deal with it when it comes, because no plan will ever work the first time anyway.
All we can do is prepare ourselves. Accept that the future is coming and it will bring with it the unknown. All I can do is accept that what will happen will happen. All I can do is point my moral compass and go.